I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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