New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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