i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
