Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize