these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
