Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
