Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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