My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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