oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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