Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
