was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
this will be a night to untag.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
