Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
