You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
