I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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