it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize