This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
