to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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