You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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