that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
