What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
