I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
there's paper in my vomit.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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