I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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