R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
