if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
