I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
jump out the window naked night went bad
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
So. Much. Porn.
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