As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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