Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
