Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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