I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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