I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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