I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
