i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
