dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
