Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
