I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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