She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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