Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
