but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
