high people should be assigned attendants
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
