is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
