you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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