remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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