Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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