remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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