I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize