Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
