i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just cut my nipple shaving
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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