Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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