I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
