I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
