and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
