I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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