so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize