Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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