Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
