Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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