The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
