and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
why is half of my head shaved?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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