escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's blow job season.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
