woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
