white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
