a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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