Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
