Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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